![]() ![]() * A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. She leans over and whispers to him, 'I'll do anything you ask for $200, as long as you can ask me in no more than three words.' * Man walks into a bar, sits down next to a beautiful blonde. The man says, "OK, I'll have a beer for myself and a lawyer for my alligator." The bartender says: "Yes, of course we do!" * A man walks into a bar with his alligator and asks: "Do you serve lawyers here?". The bartender says, "I can't let you in without a Thai." * An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a MIJ, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, and a Swiss man walk into a bar. "NOW," he says, "wherez at ol' lady with the sore tooth?" Just when they think the man must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt ripped and gashes across his body. Everyone in the bar hears a huge scuffle outside - barking, yelping and growling, then silence. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but he doesn't make a face. He grabs the bottle of pepper tequila with both hands and downs it, gulp by gulp. The new guy proceeds to drink several whiskeys, and eventually, he gets up his nerve. No wonder you've collected so much money - that's impossible!" "Well, I know I've paid my $10 bucks," says the man, "but I'm not an idiot. Third, there is a 90-year-old woman upstairs who's never had an orgasm in her life. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Second, there's a pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth. First, you have to drink that whole bottle of pepper tequila - the WHOLE thing at once - and you can't make a face while doing it. So the guy gives him the $10 bucks, and the bartender adds it to the jar. "Well, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, then you get all the money." The man approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?" Synopsis of Children of the Night - ProstStageProduction.A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a large jar filled to the brim with $10 bills. ![]() If you like these Walks Into A Bar jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.Īnd you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us on Facebook. It was tense.Ī tennis player walks into a bar and starts serving. The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. The barman says “who ordered a spirit?”Ī roman centurion walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says “five beers please”.Ī roman centurion walks into a bar and points to a bottle. The barman says “I’m sorry, we don’t cater for functions.”Ī ghost walks into a bar. Barman says “you can have a beer but don’t start anything”.Ī SQL query walks into a bar, goes up to two tables, and says “can I join you?”į(x) walks into a a bar and asks for a sandwich. The barman says “sorry, we don’t serve Heineken here.”Ī man walks into a bar with a jump lead. The barman says “we don’t like your tie pin here”. The barman says “sorry mate, we don’t serve snakebite in here”.Ī man wearing a tie fastener walks into a bar. The barman says “we don’t serve food”.Ī bottle of venom walks into a bar. The barman shouts “Oi! Get out! We don’t want your type in here”.Ī termite walks into a bar and says, “Is the bar tender here?”Ī sandwich walks into a bar. Times New Roman and Arial walk into a bar. The train track says “a pint for me, please, and one for the road”. ![]() The barman says “Oi! You’re bard.”Ī train track and a motorway walk into a bar. The barman says “would you like a pint?” The horse says, “no, two halves”. A time traveller walks into a bar.Ī pantomime horse walks into a bar. The barman says “we don’t serve time travellers in here”. ![]() The barman shouted “Oi! I’ve told you! We don’t serve Noble gases in here! Get out!” The helium didn’t react. The barman shouted, “Eyh you, get out of here!” He gets a two-point deduction and ruins his chances of a medal. The barman says “you can’t come in here with those trainers”.Ī gymnast walks into a bar. Feel free to add them in the comments.Ī racehorse walks into a bar with its entourage. I have left out the most obvious ones, but there is still no guarantee of originality or funniness… No doubt, some of you will want to suggest some more. I’ve had a request this week for a topic for the puns and one liners, so thanks to Phil, this week’s page is A Man Walks Into A Bar jokes. ![]()
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